Gedanken Experiment

I was thinking today about a hypothetical.

Suppose I was working with a guy who seemed really talented and energetic. He has a good life, married to his high-school sweetheart, with a good job, though not in an industry he ever expected to be in.

He's had some rapid career advancement, because we're in a small company, and, after having been on the right side of some internal company politics, he's gotten promoted to a leadership position despite being a bit young for the job.

He and his wife have a large family, including a teenage daughter who's, well, maybe a little impulsive (she is a teenager, right?), and a baby born only five months ago. His oldest is about to deploy to Iraq. There's a lot going on at home. If I were his manager, I'd be worried about how to get him some help to keep his job performance from slipping.

Suddenly, he's being courted by a big national firm, for a senior position far beyond anything he's ever claimed to be interested in. Very exciting, but there's a catch. He'll have to spend the next two months flying around the country, doing a dog-and-pony show to all the divisions of the company, barely spending a night at home. Plus, if he gets the job, he'll have to move his family all the way across the country, away from their scenic, small hometown to an expensive city where they don't know anyone, his spouse won't be able to find a job in her career, and they can't engage in their favorite hobbies, and he's going to be working all the time, including taking overseas trips at the drop of a hat.

That's a tough situation, but I could see an ambitious guy maybe going for it, particularly if he had a push-over for a wife, and he was the kind of self-centered guy who doesn't care what his kids want. Personally, I'd question his decision, because it wouldn't be my choice, and, as I said, there's a lot going on at home.

I'd really think he was whacked if I heard that, even if he gets the job, the company is struggling and may not be around in four years. Spending so much time away, on a gamble of getting a job, then moving the family, and then have it go belly-up in a few years? I don't know. Sounds like quite a gamble.

And if then I heard that, besides his eldest shipping out, the five-month old was a baby who had Downs, and his teenage daughter was unmarried and pregnant? And he'd already left on the dog-and-pony tour instead of telling the big national firm, "Thanks, but no thanks, my family comes first and we're in a bit of a crisis right now"?

I'd think he was an egotistical bastard and a royal asshole. What kind of a man would do that to his family? What about his wife? His middle children? Learning about the special needs of his kid? Shouldn't he be focusing on them, at least for the next few months? Sheesh. What is wrong with that guy?

Fortunately, I don't have to work with anyone like that. I don't think I'd like him very much.