I Didn't Want To Go Here
Sadly, the McCainiacs beat the POW drum over and over and over, and I've reached my breaking point. I hope you will forgive me a moment of personal privilege.
In the early 1980s, when I was 21, I was taken captive by a brutal and heartless enemy. I endured horrendous treatment over the course of several years, and still carry scars and physical limitations from the experience.
In my case, the enemy was called Diffuse Histiocytic Lymphoma, not the Democratic Republic of Vietnam, and it didn't just want to use me for intelligence and a propaganda advantage. Unlike the 31-year-old naval officer McCain, I hadn't volunteered for the war. I wasn't bombing my enemy when I was captured, I was just going to college. But it was a life-and-death struggle, nonetheless.
I was exposed to massive doses of radiation. They would have been fatal had they been given all at once, but instead they were delivered daily over a period of weeks, so that instead of dying I would spend the next 23 hours literally puking my guts out.
Radiation did nothing to stop the cancer, meaning I spent the next years getting regular doses of toxic chemicals. I can tell you, it is a remarkable experience to watch fluids carefully delivered in plastic bags labeled 'bio-hazard' being pumped into your veins. There was more puking, and a catalog of other painful and frightening experiences I won't go into.
And, while I've been free of the lymphoma for many years, the experience lingers on. I'm sterile. I have heart damage. Four years ago, I got another, different form of cancer which was a result of the radiation exposure. My veins are scarred and constricted, so simple blood tests are agony for me. And as I age, every new twinge or pain has me wondering, "Is this serious? Is it back?"
So, all those folks out there talking incessantly about John McCain's heroism and bravery and all that he endured, I have to say, GET OVER IT!
There are millions of us out here who've endured our own traumas, and we suck it up and go on. We live a life as best we can, and most of us don't trot out our horrific story every time someone criticizes something we say or do.
I'm not a believer in playing the game of 'my suffering is worse than yours'. It doesn't make sense to me, and I know there are many, many people out there who have gone through horrors far worse than mine. And I really haven't wanted to talk about my personal saga. But it's gotten to the point where I just had to say something.
Do I feel that my cancer experience makes me somehow saintly, or especially qualified to be President of the United States? Hell, no. It doesn't even make me especially qualified to be Secretary of Health and Human Services. Furthermore, I'd rather be known for what I've done in the years since that experience than use it as a tool to manipulate people.
Once upon a time, John McCain endured something awful. Yes, it shaped his character, and it showed he had determination and grit. So what? He's a member of a big club. He's not so friggin' special.
And, as one of the other millions of people walking around the planet who have undergone something hellacious, I wish he and his friends would just shut up about it already. He's not the only one who's lived through tremendous adversity, and the repetition is getting to be insulting.
More, as someone who's been through something traumatic, I'm all too aware of the way it's scarred me mentally and emotionally. When are we going to hear a discussion of what McCain has done to process those feelings? How do we know his POW experience doesn't actually make him less qualified to be President?
Has he had counseling? Does he have flashbacks? Does he experience periods of depression, or fits of seemingly disconnected anger? Does he have emotional triggers that make him quick to react in negative ways? How does he deal with not getting his way? Many people come out of long periods of intense trauma, and even after they recover they are never quite as resilient, never really past it.
Should I feel confident that he wouldn't be just as emotionally unsuited for the Oval Office as I would be? Based on what evidence? How does he do when he hasn't had enough sleep?
These shouldn't be seen as insulting questions; it isn't "good" or "bad", it's just "normal" that treatment like that has more than physical effects. I wouldn't even raise these thoughts, but the McCain campaign has raised the subject. Again and again and again and again.
So, since they brought it up, let's really talk about it, shall we?
In the early 1980s, when I was 21, I was taken captive by a brutal and heartless enemy. I endured horrendous treatment over the course of several years, and still carry scars and physical limitations from the experience.
In my case, the enemy was called Diffuse Histiocytic Lymphoma, not the Democratic Republic of Vietnam, and it didn't just want to use me for intelligence and a propaganda advantage. Unlike the 31-year-old naval officer McCain, I hadn't volunteered for the war. I wasn't bombing my enemy when I was captured, I was just going to college. But it was a life-and-death struggle, nonetheless.
I was exposed to massive doses of radiation. They would have been fatal had they been given all at once, but instead they were delivered daily over a period of weeks, so that instead of dying I would spend the next 23 hours literally puking my guts out.
Radiation did nothing to stop the cancer, meaning I spent the next years getting regular doses of toxic chemicals. I can tell you, it is a remarkable experience to watch fluids carefully delivered in plastic bags labeled 'bio-hazard' being pumped into your veins. There was more puking, and a catalog of other painful and frightening experiences I won't go into.
And, while I've been free of the lymphoma for many years, the experience lingers on. I'm sterile. I have heart damage. Four years ago, I got another, different form of cancer which was a result of the radiation exposure. My veins are scarred and constricted, so simple blood tests are agony for me. And as I age, every new twinge or pain has me wondering, "Is this serious? Is it back?"
So, all those folks out there talking incessantly about John McCain's heroism and bravery and all that he endured, I have to say, GET OVER IT!
There are millions of us out here who've endured our own traumas, and we suck it up and go on. We live a life as best we can, and most of us don't trot out our horrific story every time someone criticizes something we say or do.
I'm not a believer in playing the game of 'my suffering is worse than yours'. It doesn't make sense to me, and I know there are many, many people out there who have gone through horrors far worse than mine. And I really haven't wanted to talk about my personal saga. But it's gotten to the point where I just had to say something.
Do I feel that my cancer experience makes me somehow saintly, or especially qualified to be President of the United States? Hell, no. It doesn't even make me especially qualified to be Secretary of Health and Human Services. Furthermore, I'd rather be known for what I've done in the years since that experience than use it as a tool to manipulate people.
Once upon a time, John McCain endured something awful. Yes, it shaped his character, and it showed he had determination and grit. So what? He's a member of a big club. He's not so friggin' special.
And, as one of the other millions of people walking around the planet who have undergone something hellacious, I wish he and his friends would just shut up about it already. He's not the only one who's lived through tremendous adversity, and the repetition is getting to be insulting.
More, as someone who's been through something traumatic, I'm all too aware of the way it's scarred me mentally and emotionally. When are we going to hear a discussion of what McCain has done to process those feelings? How do we know his POW experience doesn't actually make him less qualified to be President?
Has he had counseling? Does he have flashbacks? Does he experience periods of depression, or fits of seemingly disconnected anger? Does he have emotional triggers that make him quick to react in negative ways? How does he deal with not getting his way? Many people come out of long periods of intense trauma, and even after they recover they are never quite as resilient, never really past it.
Should I feel confident that he wouldn't be just as emotionally unsuited for the Oval Office as I would be? Based on what evidence? How does he do when he hasn't had enough sleep?
These shouldn't be seen as insulting questions; it isn't "good" or "bad", it's just "normal" that treatment like that has more than physical effects. I wouldn't even raise these thoughts, but the McCain campaign has raised the subject. Again and again and again and again.
So, since they brought it up, let's really talk about it, shall we?
posted by Paul at 5:34 PM |
|
email this
