Wow. Just Wow.

WASHINGTON -- Alberto Gonzales, who has kept a low profile since resigning as attorney general nearly 16 months ago, said he is writing a book to set the record straight about his controversial tenure as a senior official in the Bush administration.

Mr. Gonzales has been portrayed by critics both as unqualified for his position and instrumental in laying the groundwork for the administration's "war on terror." He was pilloried by Congress in a manner not usually directed toward cabinet officials.

"What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong, that deserves this kind of response to my service?" he said during an interview Tuesday, offering his most extensive comments since leaving government.

During a lunch meeting two blocks from the White House, where he served under his longtime friend, President George W. Bush, Mr. Gonzales said that "for some reason, I am portrayed as the one who is evil in formulating policies that people disagree with. I consider myself a casualty, one of the many casualties of the war on terror.

He's still got the old magic, doesn't he? That special something that makes the jaw drop, makes you feel dizzy and want to bang your head against something until you understand how this guy got to where he is? Oh, Alberto.

Never mind that Googling the phrase "failures of Alberto Gonzales" returns about 263,000 hits, or that right on the first page are criticisms from Human Rights Watch and Newt Gingrich. One might almost say that, at this point, being unable to understand what he did wrong is yet another example of his inadequacy for the job. If Alberto really doesn't know what he did wrong, he could just look it up.

Perhaps Alberto is having trouble typing things into Google because of the massive chip growing on his shoulder. "Casualty of the war on terror"? Please. Tell it to the amputees at Walter Reed. Tell it to the people who've been tortured because you didn't reject John Yoo's insanity. What a disgusting, self-serving thing that is to say.

Alberto, it may comfort you to think that the reason you can't get a job is that you are associated with taking tough positions in defense of our country in the War on Terra. However, I think the real reason is that no one wants a lawyer who looks as stupid as you did when testifying before Congress, again and again.

Everyone's seen what kind of a job you did as the President's lawyer; it's no surprise that no one wants you to do the same for them.