Elephant Repellant

There's an old joke about a guy who tries to sell another guy elephant repellant. "Elephant repellant?" says the target, "Does it work?" "Well sure," says the seller, "do you see any elephants around?"

Donald Rumsfeld gave an interview to BBC television the other night.

In an interview for the BBC's Newsnight programme, Mr Rumsfeld said Iraq had passed several milestones, like holding elections and appointing a government.

But asked if the security situation had improved, he admitted: "Statistically, no."

"But clearly it has been getting better as we've gone along," he added.

"A lot of bad things that could have happened have not happened."

Things just keep getting better, because, well, they could have been worse.

Statistically, of course, things aren't better at all. In fact, statistically, things are worse to the tune of 1700 American dead. But huge cracks have not appeared in the earth surface to swallow the Green Zone, and, well, Saddam Hussein has not escaped to lead an army of killer cyborgs in support of the insurgents. There were definitely no elephants.

And the majority of the American people didn't tumble to the pointlessness of the exercise until after the election.

If I were Syria or Iran, I think I might be worried about needing that nuke real soon now.

He added that Syria was not doing enough to stop the insurgency and that Iran was meddling in Iraqi politics.

Rummy must be really feeling the strain. He actually admitted that the situation has not improved, if only "statistically."