Logical Linkage
MIAMI - Responding to widespread public concern over the historical jump in the price of college tuition and textbooks, GOP presidential candidate John McCain today called for elimination of regulations restricting sexual intercourse in public parks.
"The American people are hurting", said McCain, "and they want Washington to do something. I believe in decorum and privacy as much as anyone, but with prices at the level they are, the time has come to consider alternatives."
Critics were quick to dismiss McCain's proposal. First, they pointed out, even if they were conceived today, it would be over 15 years before children from public park sex could possibly have an effect on the market for college tuition. Second, it is unlikely that the amount of new production could even affect tuition prices, given the growing world-wide demand for education, and current consumption levels.
Critics also pointed out that surveys show that Americans are not now having as much sex as allowed already in areas already open to it. "We don't need to 'be drilling' in public parks in order to increase production," said one long-time opponent of the plan to open up the parks.
"The way out of this crisis is more investment in alternative technologies," said a spokesman for the Democratic Party. "For years we have been calling for increased support for public education, and newer technologies such as online learning. Those are the approaches that make sense. The Bush/McCain approach may feel good in the short run, but it is just a distraction that will not do anything to ease current prices, and will certainly destroy the value of the public parks for Americans."
"The American people are hurting", said McCain, "and they want Washington to do something. I believe in decorum and privacy as much as anyone, but with prices at the level they are, the time has come to consider alternatives."
Critics were quick to dismiss McCain's proposal. First, they pointed out, even if they were conceived today, it would be over 15 years before children from public park sex could possibly have an effect on the market for college tuition. Second, it is unlikely that the amount of new production could even affect tuition prices, given the growing world-wide demand for education, and current consumption levels.
Critics also pointed out that surveys show that Americans are not now having as much sex as allowed already in areas already open to it. "We don't need to 'be drilling' in public parks in order to increase production," said one long-time opponent of the plan to open up the parks.
"The way out of this crisis is more investment in alternative technologies," said a spokesman for the Democratic Party. "For years we have been calling for increased support for public education, and newer technologies such as online learning. Those are the approaches that make sense. The Bush/McCain approach may feel good in the short run, but it is just a distraction that will not do anything to ease current prices, and will certainly destroy the value of the public parks for Americans."
posted by Paul at 7:59 AM |
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