But What Of Bat Boy??

There are times when I get overwhelmed. I get blocked trying to choose which news deserves my ranting energy. Should I spend time detailing the perjury by the Attorney General? The contempt of Congress charges voted by the House Judiciary Committee? The Iraq contracting bribery ring? So much news, so little time.

Today, though, news arrived that broke my logjam, due to its profound importance to our culture.

MIAMI (Reuters) - Publisher American Media Inc. said on Tuesday it will stop printing the Weekly World News, which for 28 years gleefully chronicled the exploits of alien babies, animal-human hybrids and dead celebrities.

The company said in a brief statement it would end the print version of the tabloid newspaper next month but would maintain the online version (www.weeklyworldnews.com).

"Due to the challenges in the retail and wholesale magazine marketplace that have impacted the newsstand, American Media, Inc. today announced it will close the print version of the Weekly World News, effective with the August 27 issue. Weekly World News was AMI's smallest weekly publication," the company said in a statement e-mailed to Reuters.

Spokesman Richard Valvo declined further comment.

There was no mention of how this would affect WWN regulars Bat Boy, Bigfoot, and the space aliens. (I assume that Bat Boy has his veteran's benefits to fall back on, since, as a cave expert, he was called into service to find Saddam's hiding place.)

It appears that, with the Bush administration working overtime to fill the public's need for the absurd and outlandish, readership of the Weekly World News had been declining. In a world where the Vice President will repeatedly tell you, for free, a story about Saddam being together with Osama, the Weekly World News was crowded out, despite their ability to cover the pair's gay wedding.

Thank goodness there will still be a website, but those long supermarket checkout lines will never, ever be the same.