Baghdad, the Musical

Opening: President Bush, in his cheerleader outfit, greets Prime Minister al-Maliki, who appears shocked to find him in his country without an invitation.

President Bush (shouting and clapping rythmically):

'Al-MaLIKi, you're so fine.
You're so fine, you blow my mind.
Al-MaLIKi! (claps) Al-MaLIKi! (claps)

(singing)
Al-Maliki, what a pity
you don't understand.
How you'll take me by the heart,
if you stand up to Iran.

Al-Maliki, you're so pretty,
Can't you understand
It's guys like you, Maliki
Oh, what you do Maliki, do Maliki
Don't break my heart, Maliki
Al-Maliki!'

Prime Minister al-Maliki, frowning:

'I pronounce it al-MAL-i-ki, Mr. President.'

Bush: (shrugging and smiling inappropriately)

'Heh. Heh-heh.'

---
OK, so maybe George isn't so hot at that governing stuff, but what a campaigner, huh!?

Nothing he likes more than to jet in, shake a few hands, get some TV time, and jet out again, particularly as the elections draw near. Yeah, so maybe it made the situation on the ground worse, but really, it was American public opinion that mattered. He looked like he was doing something clever, bold!, dynamic! about Iraq!

True, the AP photo of the two anxious aides in the helicopter between the airport and the embassy betrays how they were really feeling. In their helmets and flak jackets, they look like guys in a landing craft off Normandy.

The stories about the aerobatics Air Force One used to get out of Baghdad airspace didn't help, with their air of "let's get the hell out of here! NOW!" about them. But hey, it gave the media something to fixate on, which of course was the point.

Of course, "some" might wonder how the head of a sovereign government might feel about discovering that someone like the President of the United States could enter his country without him knowing until five minutes before their meeting. "Some" might be concerned it would make him wonder how close someone with a little lower media profile might get before he knew. Not that the Prime Minister of Iraq has to worry about kidnapping, assasination, or anything. (George thinks he can go into Iraq any time he damn well pleases, which is, after all, how this all got started.)

I'm sure the Prime Minister was happy to take time out from his busy day of trying to hold his fractious government together by his fingernails to have some photo-ops with the man in charge of his country's occupiers. Bush waltzing in and out like that in no way makes al-Maliki appear powerless, or like a stooge, nor would it inspire one or more factions to rise up in protest. Who would think that?

I hope he at least got some turkey out of it.