Heart of Gold

I was wrong.

Sec. Rumsfeld chose to go with his impersonation of TV's Sgt. Schultz instead of Rains' Capt. Renault. During a press conference with Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Peter Pace, instead of "shocked, shocked" it was "I know no-zing...no-zing!"

QUESTION: Mr. Secretary, are you concerned over -- and, in fact, is the United States looking into growing reports of uniformed death squads in Iraq perhaps assassinating and torturing hundreds of Sunnis? And if that's true, what would that say about stability in Iraq?

RUMSFELD: I'm not going to comment on hypothetical questions. I've not seen reports that hundreds are being killed by roving death squads at all.

Apparently he doesn't have time to read the New York Times, LA Times, or any of the other newspapers carrying the story. Or maybe he just choses not to see what he doesn't want to see. But then, having said he won't comment on hypotheticals, he goes on to comment.

We know for a fact that it's a violent country. We know for a fact that there have been various militias. We know that there have been some militias that have been Iran-oriented. We also know there have been some militias in the north that have been very helpful.

RUMSFELD: The peshmerga have been very constructive in what they've done. But I'm not going to get into speculation like that.

QUESTION: Well, sir, that's not a hypothetical, I don't believe. The Sunnis themselves are charging that hundreds have been assassinated, people shot in the head, found in alleys.

RUMSFELD: What you're talking about are unverified -- to my knowledge, at least -- unverified comments. I just don't have any data from the field that I could comment on in a specific way.

I have to say, his reading of the part is a bit over the top and wordy. I prefer John Banner's original.

Later, though, I'm not quite clear what character he's playing. Richelieu? Caligula?

QUESTION: Sir, taking on his question a bit -- and I can give you actual examples from coalition forces who talked to me when I was over there about excesses of the Interior Ministry, the Ministry of Defense; and that is in dealing with prisoners or in arresting people and how they're treated after they're arrested -- what are the obligations and what are the rights of U.S. military over there in dealing with that?

Obviously, Iraq is a sovereign country now, but the United States is responsible for training and expects to turn over the security mission to them.

So, what is the U.S. obligation in addressing that, preventing that, and what can we do? And what are we doing?

You've got to appreciate the helpfulness of the reporter who was willing to give the head of the Department of Defense reports from coalition forces that, somehow, haven't made it to his desk.

RUMSFELD: That's a fair question. I'll start and, Pete, you may want to finish. But we are working very hard to train and equip the Iraqi security forces. So is NATO. So are some neighboring countries.

There are a lot of people involved in this, dozens of countries trying to help train these Iraqi forces. Any instance of inhumane behavior is obviously worrisome and harmful to them when that occurs. Iraq knows, of certain knowledge, that they need the support of the international community. And a good way to lose it is to make a practice of something that is inconsistent with the values of the international community.

RUMSFELD: And I think they know that.

Now, you know, I can't go any farther in talking about it. Obviously, the United States does not have a responsibility when a sovereign country engages in something that they disapprove of. However, we do have a responsibility to say so and to make sure that the training is proper and to work with the sovereign officials so that they understand the damage that can be done to them in the event some of these allegations prove to be true.

QUESTION: And, General Pace, what guidance do you have for your military commanders over there as to what to do if -- like when General Horst found this Interior Ministry jail?

PACE: It is absolutely responsibility of every U.S. service member if they see inhumane treatment being conducted, to intervene, to stop it. As an example of how to do it if you don't see it happening, but you're told about it, is exactly what happened a couple of weeks ago. There was a report from an Iraqi to a U.S. commander that there was a possibility of inhumane treatment in a particular facility. That U.S. commander got together with his Iraqi counterparts. They went together to the facility, found what they found, reported it to the Iraqi government, and the Iraqi government has taken ownership of that problem and is investigating it.

So they did exactly what they should have done.

RUMSFELD: I don't think you mean they have an obligation to physically stop it, it's to report it.

PACE: If they are physically present when inhumane treatment is taking place, sir, they have an obligation to try to stop it. emphasis mine

There you have it. Rumsfeld's response to encountering a man being tortured would be to go to the authorities and tell them that it would be bad if news of that got out. Nice.

At least General Pace still remembers that he would have a duty to intervene to stop it.