The Wildest Post-Debate Spin
In the wacky world of the blogosphere, a number of observers seem inordinately fascinated by the odd way one side of Bush's mouth didn't move, and the visible spittle at the corner of his mouth. In the way of these things, a theory spun up quickly to replace the prevailing chatter about Bush wearing a secret earpiece and transmitter to receive coaching from offstage.
The new theory is that Bush has suffered some organic brain damage, perhaps a small stroke, or perhaps has Bell's palsy, or perhaps is "merely" on medications. Supporting this conjecture is the fact that Bush postponed his yearly physical in August. Quickly, the two conspiracy theories merge - perhaps the odd rectangular lump on his back is some sort of medical monitoring device! The historians in the crowd quickly point to Wilson, FDR and JFK as examples where the health of the President has been hidden from the public.
Some remain unconvinced. They argue that Bush has always had a funny, crooked face, and a smirk. Some suggest that, since he was working so hard to keep his facial reactions restrained after the debacle of the first debate, he might have had botox injected. Meanwhile, the hunt is on for pictures of Bush in the past, to compare with the ones already posted from last night, which do, in fact, seem to show his face askew.
A passing reference to the Oliver Stone-like quality of the discussion provokes Stone partisans and JFK-conspiracy buffs to momentarily highjack the thread. A wag suggests that, if the President is suffering from a serious, and potentially fatal, illness, it's that he's stubborn and disconnected from reality.
Finally, someone posts a picture from the debate with Gore. His mouth is drooping. But that doesn't explain the spittle, or foaming. Another wit suggests rabies. The coin drops, and people begin to realize that, should Bush die in office, Cheney would become President. Many shudder and tremble with horror.
Ah, here it comes!. Someone posts an article from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, stating that one of the cumulative side effects of cocaine abuse is restriction of the blood vessels in the brain, and stroke, with effects that persist long after the cocaine use stops. (Soon all the anti-Bush rumors will be brought together in a Grand Unified Theory of Everything Wrong with Bush!)
What's the saddest thing about this conversation? That it isn't really any more absurd than the things Karen Hughes and Ken Mehlman have been saying about their candidate's performance, asserting things that obviously disagree with what people have seen with their own eyes. The idea that we're being lied to about the President's health simply seems like another case of a lie from an administration that has lied on subjects ranging from the threat of Saddam to the state of the economy to the way they are caring for the environment. The fabrication of an evil conspiracy based on fragmentary evidence that may not even be real is merely doing what Bush, et al. taught us was an appropriate way to approach foreign policy.
Fortunately for the Bush team, most Kerry supporters haven't quite sunk to Rove's level, and we won't be seeing ads from the Neuro-vascular Practioners for Truth, nor interviews on cable news programs where people say things like, "Well, if it's not a stroke, then it can only be that he's on thorazine, a powerful anti-psychotic."
With luck, the main conversation will instead focus on things like Bush claiming he never said something we all remember him saying about Osama, since it was so controversial at the time. If things work the way they should, people will be talking about his seeming assertion that No Child Left Behind was going to help 50-year-old machinists find jobs. Maybe people will wonder just what subjects people with advanced degrees in Computer Science should study at community college to prepare themselves for a 21st century job.
We can hope that people will be wondering why it should be OK to import flu vaccine from Canada, but not lower-priced prescription drugs. Maybe people will even go further, to investigate what really keeps firms out of the flu vaccine business. Perhaps someone will start to wonder just how it is that a popular Republican president couldn't get a Republican Congress to extend the assault weapons ban, and why Mr. Steadfast Takes-on-Difficut-Decisions timidly walked away when told it wouldn't pass, though Bill Clinton was able to pass it.
Maybe people will be wondering about just how they are supposed to put money into a Health Savings Account when they either have no job, or a job that pays so little that they can't save. Maybe they'll also start to wonder about just what money Bush is talking about them putting in their personal retirement account. Maybe they'll talk to a college student, who will tell them that Pell Grants really aren't funded to the level Bush said they would be. Perhaps that same person will wonder why the President boasted that "We've increased Pell Grants by a million students," when Pell Grant eligibility is determined by an income-based formula, and an increase of a million just means that a million more students are poor enough to qualify.
Maybe people will hear about the real numbers on Bush's tax cuts, which have NOT gone mostly to low- and middle-income Americans.
Perhaps people will work on deciphering just how No Child Left Behind is going to help them cope with living in poverty on a minimum-wage job, since they are, in fact, adults who know how to read, write, add and subtract. Perhaps someone will explain just how "No Child Left Behind Act is really a jobs act when you think about it."
You know, now that I think about it, compared to the words that actually came out of the President's mouth last night, the blog speculators seem pretty rational.
The new theory is that Bush has suffered some organic brain damage, perhaps a small stroke, or perhaps has Bell's palsy, or perhaps is "merely" on medications. Supporting this conjecture is the fact that Bush postponed his yearly physical in August. Quickly, the two conspiracy theories merge - perhaps the odd rectangular lump on his back is some sort of medical monitoring device! The historians in the crowd quickly point to Wilson, FDR and JFK as examples where the health of the President has been hidden from the public.
Some remain unconvinced. They argue that Bush has always had a funny, crooked face, and a smirk. Some suggest that, since he was working so hard to keep his facial reactions restrained after the debacle of the first debate, he might have had botox injected. Meanwhile, the hunt is on for pictures of Bush in the past, to compare with the ones already posted from last night, which do, in fact, seem to show his face askew.
A passing reference to the Oliver Stone-like quality of the discussion provokes Stone partisans and JFK-conspiracy buffs to momentarily highjack the thread. A wag suggests that, if the President is suffering from a serious, and potentially fatal, illness, it's that he's stubborn and disconnected from reality.
Finally, someone posts a picture from the debate with Gore. His mouth is drooping. But that doesn't explain the spittle, or foaming. Another wit suggests rabies. The coin drops, and people begin to realize that, should Bush die in office, Cheney would become President. Many shudder and tremble with horror.
Ah, here it comes!. Someone posts an article from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, stating that one of the cumulative side effects of cocaine abuse is restriction of the blood vessels in the brain, and stroke, with effects that persist long after the cocaine use stops. (Soon all the anti-Bush rumors will be brought together in a Grand Unified Theory of Everything Wrong with Bush!)
What's the saddest thing about this conversation? That it isn't really any more absurd than the things Karen Hughes and Ken Mehlman have been saying about their candidate's performance, asserting things that obviously disagree with what people have seen with their own eyes. The idea that we're being lied to about the President's health simply seems like another case of a lie from an administration that has lied on subjects ranging from the threat of Saddam to the state of the economy to the way they are caring for the environment. The fabrication of an evil conspiracy based on fragmentary evidence that may not even be real is merely doing what Bush, et al. taught us was an appropriate way to approach foreign policy.
Fortunately for the Bush team, most Kerry supporters haven't quite sunk to Rove's level, and we won't be seeing ads from the Neuro-vascular Practioners for Truth, nor interviews on cable news programs where people say things like, "Well, if it's not a stroke, then it can only be that he's on thorazine, a powerful anti-psychotic."
With luck, the main conversation will instead focus on things like Bush claiming he never said something we all remember him saying about Osama, since it was so controversial at the time. If things work the way they should, people will be talking about his seeming assertion that No Child Left Behind was going to help 50-year-old machinists find jobs. Maybe people will wonder just what subjects people with advanced degrees in Computer Science should study at community college to prepare themselves for a 21st century job.
We can hope that people will be wondering why it should be OK to import flu vaccine from Canada, but not lower-priced prescription drugs. Maybe people will even go further, to investigate what really keeps firms out of the flu vaccine business. Perhaps someone will start to wonder just how it is that a popular Republican president couldn't get a Republican Congress to extend the assault weapons ban, and why Mr. Steadfast Takes-on-Difficut-Decisions timidly walked away when told it wouldn't pass, though Bill Clinton was able to pass it.
Maybe people will be wondering about just how they are supposed to put money into a Health Savings Account when they either have no job, or a job that pays so little that they can't save. Maybe they'll also start to wonder about just what money Bush is talking about them putting in their personal retirement account. Maybe they'll talk to a college student, who will tell them that Pell Grants really aren't funded to the level Bush said they would be. Perhaps that same person will wonder why the President boasted that "We've increased Pell Grants by a million students," when Pell Grant eligibility is determined by an income-based formula, and an increase of a million just means that a million more students are poor enough to qualify.
Maybe people will hear about the real numbers on Bush's tax cuts, which have NOT gone mostly to low- and middle-income Americans.
Perhaps people will work on deciphering just how No Child Left Behind is going to help them cope with living in poverty on a minimum-wage job, since they are, in fact, adults who know how to read, write, add and subtract. Perhaps someone will explain just how "No Child Left Behind Act is really a jobs act when you think about it."
You know, now that I think about it, compared to the words that actually came out of the President's mouth last night, the blog speculators seem pretty rational.
posted by Paul at 9:24 AM |
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